If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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