we made out on top of his cat.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
