Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize