We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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