His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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