It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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