how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Couch. On fire.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
