She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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