GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
