Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
