TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
