A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
