I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
