Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
so let's talk penis.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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