A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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