i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
it glows. i had to have it.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
