Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
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