rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
