I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Randomize
