my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Randomize
