I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize