No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just forgot I was standing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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