The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize