got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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