guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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