I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i wish my penis had a tongue
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize
