make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
