she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
