3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
