No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
