I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
