i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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