She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
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