I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
