Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm getting married
To pizza
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
