I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
