let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
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