I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize