Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
that is very illegal...i love you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
