And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Congratulations! We have a period
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