Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
