Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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