I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
