when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize