He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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