Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
