Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
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When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
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I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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