physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
