Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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