I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
