the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
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I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
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had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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