somebody snuck up and got me drunk
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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