Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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