Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
