Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So vagazzling was a success
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize