This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
