Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
