All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
They took my balls.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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