Fine. I'll sleep in my office
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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