hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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