Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
